Things that RuPaul Taught Me
... that I must love myself first. "If you don't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?" Watching this fierce black drag queen tell it like it is has been invaluable to my life. Taking care of yourself and loving every cell and atom in your own body requires a love beyond measure.
... that I can transcend this thing called "ego." RuPaul has taught me that we are born as souls, spirits inside a physical form, and that our outward expression is merely that -- a façade, a performance of sorts. To understand that we are, to an extent, playing some kind of character has been freeing to my spirit.
... that people come in all shapes and sizes. The types of drag queens that RuPaul has on her show have a variety of body types. Different skin colors, hair colors, ethnicity, and all of the differences that make us human are beautiful and make us each unique.
... that everyone is beautiful. Seeing the variety of people on RuPaul's show and how different they are has helped me to see profound beauty in all people. Everyone has the capacity to be beautiful, whether it's something external or internal. I have seen people in a new light because of RuPaul's impact.
... that it takes a lot of courage to be yourself. Being a gay black man in America is no easy social position to be in. Taking this double-jeopardy sort of situation and then adding a wig, dress, make-up, and heels to it and saying fuck you to gender adds to the anarchy of it all. The amount of courage it takes to be RuPaul is intense; I can only hope to be as courageous as him in my endeavor to self.
... that where you come from doesn't always designate where you will go. RuPaul came from a rather poor family and didn't have much opportunity in front of him. He changed this, starting out in clubs and working his way to the top, all while fighting different addictions, too. Knowing that you can get up from being down has given me strength in my life.
Things that RuPaul Did Not Teach Me
... that loving yourself first can be extremely difficult. I have put my family and friends before me throughout most of my life, attending to their needs instead of my own. I spent most of my time helping others that I forgot to help myself. I spent most of my helping others find themselves that I forgot to search for my own self.
... that transcending the "ego" is the most daunting human task. Trying to overcome the voice in your head that tells you that you're not good enough, or the voice that also tells you that you're better than everyone else. Learning to see my humanity and seek my spirituality has been my central task in the past two years.
... that while people do come in all shapes and sizes, it can be difficult accepting your own body. I have often felt too skinny, not muscular enough, not athletic enough. Accepting my body as it is has been a challenge throughout my life, and something that I still work on today.
... that although everyone is beautiful, sometimes people can be really ugly, too. I am not talking about being ugly in the physical sense, but rather ugly in the sense that what people can do is ugly. Gay bashing, mindless murders, genocide, racism... these are all ugly realities of humanity.
... that having the courage to be yourself demands all of your energy, and sometimes that courage is very hard to find. Coming out to my parents and friends as gay required so much bravery, and it was one of the hardest things I've had to do in my life.
... that even though you may have faith that you will go somewhere someday, you can often feel stuck. Sometimes feeling like you are stuck in a rut can make things seem hopeless. I have found myself in this place so often the past two years. Where am I going? I am still uncertain.
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